Now Restricted at Tuts4You Forum: I have become an Outcast

Now my account at Tuts4You (the ProgMan one) has been restricted from the past 3 days.
Bad thing is, that unlike the Exetools forum admin ChessGod101, the Tuts4You admins do not take bribes in order to restore full account access.

I feel that I am just wasting my life. Making posts in the Exetools forum just to make myself look superior.
In the end, I know that the Exetools domain owners will just sell the domain name and pocket the fat sum of money.
Then the exetools forum will be gone and all my efforts and sacrifices I’ve made for my real-life relationships and work will have been for naught.

All said and done, I just sell cracked software and cracked IDA Pro in the Exetools forum.
For that I am hated so much.

I feel so useless. Everyone treats as if I am a cockroach.
As if I am an used cigarette butt. A nuisance to be snubbed under their shoes.
After paying such a huge bribe to ChessGod101 for my account unban just 2 weeks ago, I do not have any more money.

So what do I do now?
I am unable to come out of my obsessive-compulsiveness of having to login to the Exetools forum and check what someone would have posted against me. I am powerless under its spell.
I will continue to keep feverishly logging into Exetools and making good-for-nothing copy-pastes of free online material.